Conservation of Happiness Law
3/7/2008

The once Great Ben Hayes family theory of Happiness States and now the Siu household law of Conservation of Happiness States that the total amount of Happiness in any isolated system remains constant but cannot be recreated, ie there is only a finite amount of happiness in a given system.

In short, the law of conservation of happiness states that happiness can not be created or destroyed, it can only be transfered from one person to another. For example: if I kicked you in the ass, your level of happiness will go down but my happiness level will rise, thus conservation of happiness is met.

Another example, if I stole your money and spent it all to buy me something nicelike a motorcycle then we see again that happiness is conserved.
where x = happiness constant

Andy happiness = e^x
unhappy sole = e^-x





The NATO phonetic alphabet:
1/30/2008

Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta Echo Foxtrot Golf Hotel India
Juliet Kilo Lima Mike November Oscar Papa Quebec Romeo
Sierra Tango Uniform Victor Whiskey Xray Yankee Zulu





CA DMV online Liability release
5/18/2007
https://mv.dmv.ca.gov/nrl/welcome.do


Nudy Bar, by Al Bundy
1/26/2007
Where the Music stinks, and they wanted a drink, at the nudy bar
Where the girlies dance in their under pants, the nudy bar
Where you see there butt and their trap stays shut, at the nudy bar



I care, by Al Bundy
1/25/2007
When hooters jiggle around
and I find nickels on the ground, I care
When a mustang engine purrs
and the bathroom is not hers I care
When the pitcher's on the mound,
and the wife is under ground, I care
When I've been playing this for days,
I will kill anyone who stays I swear!
Pegs response:
And if you really wanna scare,
check out his underwear
If you dare!


Disaster Recovery Personal Protection Act
10/09/2006
Bush signed into law which states that Local law enforcement cannot confiscate legal firearms from law-abiding citizens during states of emergency! don't let new orleans happen to you.. Hold onto you your guns and shoot anyone that try's to loot your home in an earthquake!


Abalone
09/30/2006
Third set of abalones this season! These suckers taste hella good.
Super easy to cook. You simply clean the abalone with a scrubber or steel wool, bring some chicken broth to a boil then reduce heat to low. Pound the abalone a few times as a whole then from the top not the foot then cut into 3 equal pieces. Toss into low heat chicken broth and cook for an hour. Should be super soft by now and taste almost like clams. Add the abalone to chicken soup, clam chowder, linguine with abalone??? The choices are unlimited and you don't have to work that hard to cook it.



Abalone
09/17/2006
Cought my first abalone at fort ross! Here is a picture of it:



Quote of the Day
08/7/2006
"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."


Script of the Day
08/6/2006
You know the problem with Hollywood? They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit. I'm not some grungy filmmaker- wannabee searching for existentialism through a haze of bong-smoke. It's easy to pick apart bad acting, short-sighted directing, or the purely moronic stringing together of words many of the studios term as prose. No, I'm talking the lack of realism. Realism. Not a pervasive element in the modern American cinematic vision.
Take Dog Day Afternoon for example. Arguably Pacino's greatest performance, excepting The Godfather, Part I, and Scarface, of course. A masterpiece of directing, easily Lumet's best. The acting, the script, cinematography, all top notch. But, they didn't push the envelope. What if in Dog Day, Sonny really wanted to get away with it? What if, and here's where it gets tricky. What if they'd started killing hostages? No mercy, no quarter, meet our demands or the cute blonde in the bell bottoms gets one in the back of the head, bam, splatter. What? Still no bus?
How many innocent victims would they let get sprayed across the windows before the city reversed its policy on hostage situations? And this was 1976. No C.N.N., no C.N.B.C., no M.T.V. No Internet. Fast forward to the present, same situation. Can you imagine the feeding frenzy of the modern media? In hours it would be the top story from Boston to Budapest. All caught in 150 millimeter zoom, computer enhanced, and color corrected. You would practically taste the brain matter. Six hostages die. Ten. Twelve. Twenty. Thirty. Relentless. One after another. All over a bus, a plane, and a couple of million dollars that were federally insured.



Quote of the Day
02/14/2006
"Consider the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin.
Yet, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."


Who's parking in your driveway in San Francisco?
4/7/2005
Give them a ticket or tow it! (415) 553-1200 dispatch or (415) 553-1235 towed vehicles

Got a complaint on a Cab Drive in San Francisco?
4/7/2005
If you got a cab driver who's erratic, violent, and basically an ass file a complaint! San Francisco Taxicab commision has a complaint line at 415-553-1447 (24 hours). File a complaint and I'm sure with enough of them we can revoke those cabi's license!

Junk SNAIL MAIL! Opt out of getting preapproved Credit Card Applications! One phone call!
3/12/2005
Are you tired of those damn annoying preapproved credit card offers or insurance? Junk mail just killing you? When your name gets added to a credit reporting agency your also added to a list of people who can receive other offers. Banks use this information to solicite you. There is an opt out list and you can join it easily either by phone or by the web.
Call 1-888-5-OPTOUT (1-888-567-8688) or www.optoutprescreen.com.
Free used motor oil and latex paint pick-up
Pick-up of used motor oil, oil filters, and latex paint by appointment for all San Francisco residents.
Call (415) 355-3777 to schedule a pick-up.


Got Used Motor Oil in San Francisco? Have it picked up for free!!
3/12/2005
Free used motor oil and latex paint pick-up
Pick-up of used motor oil, oil filters, and latex paint by appointment for all San Francisco residents.
Call (415) 355-3777 to schedule a pick-up.


RIAA sues 87 year old Deceased women for copyright infringement
2/4/2005
It seems the RIAA is at it again. RIAA sues a dead lady for sharing songs over the internet. Unfortunetly for the RIAA the 87 year old hates computers but ultimately the defense wins with this closing statement:

"You can't have order in the court when you've got such an odor in the court. The defense rests."


Used Oil recycling and re-imbursement of 16cent per gallon
10/19/2004
Did you know that as of January of 2000 under section 48650(a) of the Public Resource Code states that you are entitled to 16cents per gallon if you recycle your oil at a certified state recycling location? Sanitary Fill on 501 Tunnel street is one of those locations. Don't believe me? Check out: http://temp.sfgov.org/sfenvironment/aboutus/toxics/used_oil.htm
Or check out http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=prc&group=48001-49000&file=48650-48657

You can also get your oil or latext paint picked up curb side by calling (800) 449-7587.


10/18/2004
Tired of getting the Independent and Examiner delivered?
Then you need to call them to make them stop! Call Jose Diaz at 415-359-2673 (circulation surpivser for the Independent or 1-866-733-7323 for the circulation department at the Examiner. Feel free to fax them at 415-826-5371 with your cease and desist letters also.


10/05/2004
Rodney Dangerfield dies!
The god of all comedy died today. Very sad indeed.
We'll all remember him and his funny jokes.

Let me quote a few from him :

"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother,"

"When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out my act was reviewed in Field and Stream,"

"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?"'

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!"'

"When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up."

"I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home."

"When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."

"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names -- hers and her mother's."

"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."

"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."

I played hide and seek; they wouldn't even look for me During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox; the cat kept covering me up.

I'm so ugly. My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid.� There's so many places they can hide."

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror.� I feel like throwing up; what's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.


1/30/2004
Love Song
I want to make you mine
slap your fat behind
Tie you down and make you whine
I want you to scratch my itch
and be my bitch
Cuz I love you girl
by
tasty taste

1/9/2004
Ok its been awhile so heres another joke for you guys:
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lived for ten more years, and then dies peacefully.
A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch the fucking wall!""

5/23/2003
Don't you ever laugh as a hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And cover you up from your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box,
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
And then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it out on a slice of bread,
And that's what you eat when you are dead.

5/11/2003
I've reorganized the pictures in the photo album area. Please feel free to check them out.

3/31/2003
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing she's already been told twice.

2/14/2003
A guide to dating
Read it up geeks. Heres a guide you need to read. Geeks guide to dating

1/5/2003
Quote of another day:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

1/4/2003
Quote of day:
"An engineer is someone who can build for a dollar what a fool can build for twenty" - Robert A. Hienlein

1/29/2003
Joke of the day:
A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the local hospital. During her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my GOD!" said the woman. "That's disgraceful. Why is he doing that?"
"The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he will die within minutes."
"Oh, that's terrible," said the woman. In the very next room they could see that a female nurse was performing oral sex on a different male patient.
OH my GOD!" said the woman, "How can that be justified?"
The doctor replied, "Same illness, better health plan."


1/15/2003
Ok happy new year. This file is a bit old but people are asking, how the heck do I activate XP without activating XP? Well if you are like me and don't want to depend on Microsoft to be around to use windows XP then this is what you need to do to get XP Activated. Please note that this will not work with SP1. xpactivation.txt.

12/08/2002
Al Bundy's christmas song. Check it out its funny. al_xmas_song_low_quality.mp3


11/26/2002
Added pictures of the frame sliders. Its in the moto_pix section so check it out. Frame sliders are mounted on a ducati 748/9x6. If you wanna see how its done and parts needed you need to check this out.


11/10/2002
Ok I've updated the photo album section. You can check it out if you click on photo albums to the left in the navigation bar. If you don't have access email me.


10/26/2002
I'm MARRIED to the Love of my Life Stacey! Happiest day of my life! We've been together through thick and thin and now we will be together for the rest of our lives. She's the best thing thats happened to me and I'm proud to be her husband. Just hope she doesn't realize what a looser I am and leave me! Shhhh don't tell her!

10/21/2002
Wanna know best word ever invented. A word that has soo much meaning and so versatile. Well check this out fuck.mp3


10/9/2002
Heres a funny as mp3.. check it out. Its pretty funny. armageddon.mp3

10/8/2002
Installed mp3 archive page on the main page. Check it out. You'll need to gain access from me to login. I basically put up my entire collection so everything you could want is there.

10/7/2002
Here is something you'll enjoy: big_gay_dennis.jpg

10/7/2002
I have updated the navigation window and have cleaned up the site. Hope this makes life a little easier.